Communication

Communication, everyone knows what it is about, but do anyone actually understands it? I believe that there is a difference between knowing and understanding. We all know what communication is, it is just interacting, we also know that for communication to take place, there must be a minimum of two people, but sometimes during communication, we forget that communication is two way.

We become self- absorbed, all we think about is what I want, what I need, what I feel is better for you. We then become so absorbed in thinking about the ‘me, I, ‘that we don’t even notice saying it at all. Yes, you can argue that I’ve been through this, I know this should be done. Yes, you can speak from experience, just because you’ve been through it, but why deny that person a chance to grow, a chance to experience it? You can stop them from making this mistake once, but what about the next time? Will you be with them all the time?

If you love someone, be there to advise them, to give them the support they need when they ask, not making things worse. We all wouldn’t like to see the person you love go through the pain or the setback you felt. You can be there to help her through it, support her. But please do not say ‘I told you so or I know how you feel’, Yes, you been through it but different people takes in things differently, how we take a setback is differ from people to people, so save yourself the trouble of ‘you are not me, how would you know how I feel’ replies.

The funny thing is, technology is supposed to help us get closer with people by means of social medias, but ironically social media is one of the reason why communication is becoming so dull. We start to assume and be skeptical about the things the person say, the pictures that are taken. We start to doubt the other party on the things they say. Before you start to be offensive on the things you say, remember that they were never yours. Yes they might be in a relationship with you, but that doesn’t mean they are your possession, that you can control their life. If you are unhappy with it, talk to them. I find the point of cold war pointless, it only makes matter worse. Problems aren’t  going to just disappear overnight, maybe it will get worse during the talk but in the end it will become better. Give yourself time to be cool headed before talking, the things we say when we are angry are usually the things we will regret in time.

“You cannot truly listen to anyone and do anything else at the same time.” – Scott Peck You cannot listen and do something else, in your mind stop thinking about ways to answer her, just keep quiet, keep your mind blank and just listen to what they have to say then take a few moments then give a reply.

Growing

As we grow older, we have less time for yourselves, as we grow so does our responsibility, responsibility not for yourselves but for the people important to us. Yes we work to feed ourselves to pamper ourselves, but when you are married and your parents are retired, you work because you have to support the people around you. As we grow we learn that things don’t come easy, when i say things i don’t mean just money alone, relationships etc,etc…

As we grow, we learn that not everybody we meet in our life will stay with us til the end, Okay.. maybe by saying ‘Our’ is too selfish, how about each other? Friends come and go is true, we have all heard it right? but have you ever wondered, why do they go? is it because you guys stopped talking? drifted away? quarreled? Well like i always say, it takes two hands to clap. if one person is putting effort to keep the relationship alive, at the end of the day the person will just get tired and give up, when this happens can you say, i don’t know what happen?  In everything we do, it really takes two hands to clap.

I’ve been ask, why did i stop talking to one of my friends, i just said we just stopped. The reply i got was ‘ Friends don’t just stop talking, some more close friends’. Well like i said earlier, sometimes its really tiring to maintain a friendship, if only one person is doing the conversation and meetings. But there is something i strongly believe, No matter how long we don’t talk, we will still be friends, friends don’t have to be talking constantly or daily. You can try by not talking to anyone, by text. etc etc. Your true friends will be those that will suddenly text you and ask how you are. I tried it before, about 2 weeks later a few of my friend texted me and asked what happen to me, some just texted me to ask me out since we haven’t met for a long time. This goes to show, friends are people that you don’t have to meet or talk to daily. If they are your friends, true friends. No matter what how long it is they will still be there. Its like time doesn’t affect the relationship between friends, instead it strengthens them, knowing that there is someone out there you can rely on for help.

Back to what i wanted to say, as we grow the time for ourselves becomes less and less, we learn what is important and what is not, who is worth the effort and who isn’t. We have too many commitments and responsibility, that having free time is a luxury, this luxury can only be given to those who are worth it.

(One day, we will all understand why there are some people who leaves, not because they are bad for us, instead everyone that you meet is good, why?? Everybody you meet will help mold you to become a better person, Stronger, Wiser, Caring, Loving. You meet a backstabber, they made you stronger cause you live through it, You had a relationship but it didn’t last. At least you know there is someone who love you truly once and so did you. You knew how to love.

Everybody is there for a reason, you might not know why now, One day in the near future we will look back and say ‘Hey, I’ve been through this before. ” One of my favorite quote is “Good decisions come from experience. Experience comes from bad decisions.” Better to learn it now, then later, when your decisions have a bigger impact.)

Thanks for reading, though i will never know who actually reads it, but i hope it helps you have a more positive look into life after reading it.